Purity as a Ring Around Your Finger: Why I Think Purity Rings May Not Always Work

Russell Brand is a very funny man but being funny, it seems, has its limits.  When he hosted the recent VMAs and made a joke about the Jonas Brothers’ purity rings, his quip wasn’t exactly well received.  In fact, he even had to apologize for it.  So what’s the big deal with these purity rings and why should it matter to the rest of us?

With this ring…
For the uninitiated and the uninformed, a purity ring is worn by someone who intends to remain sexually ‘pure’ until marriage, with sexually pure meaning practicing celibacy or abstinence until the marriage vows.  This is why a purity ring is sometimes called a chastity ring.

Any metal may be used as a purity ring and there is no set standard as to its design.  However, many teens and post-teens, especially Christians, often choose rings engraved or embossed with a cross.  For some, a purity ring may also be adorned with precious or semi-precious stones.  Some engravings may also appear in the form of a saying.

What it means
A purity ring represents the wearer’s pledge to remain celibate until he/she marries.  The sentiment is admirable but a cure for teenage promiscuity or pregnancy it is not.  And here’s why:

1.  The purity ring does not automatically prevent you from falling into temptation.
Sex is one of the greatest of addictions.  In some mystical practices, it is even considered a healing act.  But that of course depends on how it is used and how you yourself view it. 

The problem with sex (something that the wearing of purity rings attempts to curb) is that like all human actions, it has consequences.  There’s the risk of pregnancy, catching a sexually transmitted disease and the emotional havoc it can sometimes place on young people who are ill-equipped to deal with it.  Purity ring or no, if you’re not ready, then you’re not ready.

2.  The purity ring might raise a ‘holier-than-thou’ attitude.
Jordin Sparks did put Brand in his place when she made that cutting remark about some people not wanting to be sluts.  But that’s generalizing it.  Just because someone chooses not to wear the ring or refrains from abstinence does not automatically make them skanks. 

There are many people in the world who enjoy a good, healthy, active sex life who are really good, kind human beings.  And no, they’ve never worn a purity ring.  They’re just basically mature enough to understand and handle the consequences well.

3.  The purity ring does not guarantee you a happy life.
The cases of teens having sex at an age when they’re supposed to still be playing with dolls is worrisome, to say the least.  People who initiated the use of purity rings had good intentions, of course.  However, wouldn’t the use of these rings raise unrealistic expectations about sex and relationships? 

The person you make love to for the first time in your life may be the love of your life… or not.  Great if he/she is… but what if he/she isn’t?  The purity ring may protect you from the responsibilities and risks associated with sex (especially unprotected sex) but it may not prepare you for those surprises that life likes to spring from time to time.

4.  The purity ring will not replace parental guidance and support.
In the end, it’s how parents raise their children to handle situations in their life that will influence how they make decisions.  Giving your child a purity ring without him or her fully understanding what it really stands for is like giving a 4-year-old a shovel and telling them to build a sand castle using certain specifications.  They might be able to do it, but then again, they might not.

The case for virginity
There is nothing wrong about staying a virgin or choosing to abstain from sex.  What goes on between your legs is your business.  Nobody else’s – not your parents, not your teachers, not your counselors, not your neighbors, not your religious leader, not even your BFFs.  It’s yours alone.  Having people discuss THAT business is really just… wrong.

Haven’t we learned it by now?  The best chastity belt or purity ring is not the one worn around your hip or finger but the one that sits between your ears – your brain.  Ultimately, whether you have sex or not is your choice, regardless of what age you are.  It’s your body and what you want it to do and with whom is really up to you.  Just make sure you’re prepared for what happens after.